Cedric, Judy Abott, Peter Pan, Cinderella, Heidi are just some of the cartoons one can see on the profile photos used on Facebook.

If you’re wondering what this whole thing is about, relax. Your friends are still humans. People—and I mean even the adult ones, not just kids—changed their profile picture because of this spreading rule: “Change your facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood
and invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday, there should be no
human faces on facebook, but a stash of memories. This is for
eliminating violence against children.”

This reminded me of the cancer awareness on Facebook last January. Many girls posted the colors of their bra then. And now, violence against children? What’s next? Probably something against poverty?

This reminded me too of the anonymous text-addicts who don’t have anything better to do than spread chain messages, scaring people about a lot of things. “If you don’t send this message, a ghost will sleep with you tonight”. “Send this message to 15 people. Jesus died for you. Should you just ignore this message?”

While it’s good to reminisce the TV shows I watched when I was a kid and to discover that my grown-up friends share the same taste on cartoon characters, I didn’t buy this advocacy. I didn’t change my profile picture into my favorite cartoon.

Futile

Sure, it’s good to be aware of the violence against children. But aren’t we already aware of it? Simply put, this advocacy doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t even help the abused children. It doesn’t even stop the violence. It is just like some pages on Facebook that promise you they will feed hungry children if you “Like” their page.

Violence in the Philippines

It is interesting to note that lots of Filipinos joined this activity without realizing that they themselves were abused too at least once in their lives.

I can’t blame them. We are in a country where spanking A.K.A. “disciplining” the children is tolerated, encouraged even by people who believe that spanking helps in creating a more responsible child. We are in a country where spanking children is normal. What we consider “violence” here is when the child spanked is already bleeding and about to die. But isn’t a wrong deed still wrong regardless if it’s done in small or large scale? Do what you call “disciplining” to foreign children and you’ll surely end up in jail.

Live and let live

Don’t get me wrong. I may not have joined this Facebook activity, but I didn’t stop people from joining it either. In fact, I even clicked the like button numerous times because of the lovely cartoon photos some of my friends used. Gone are the days when your “cool” friends ridicule you for having a profile photo of Mr.Bean.

Wondered if all the people
You encounter are real? Or are they just
Puppets of a Director, who either
Loves you or Hates you, but
Surely focuses on you? Have you ever

Suspected all people are hiding
Something from you? Have you ever
Wondered if you’re real?
Have you?

© Jenn
12.09.2010

by Jenn Besonia

Anyone who’s a college student must have seen lots of theirs schoolmates, or even they themselves, protest against the alleged budget cut for State Universities and Colleges (SUCs) recently. While Senator Drilon’s explanation is convincing enough that there’s actually an increase in the budget for SUCs, P-Noy’s statement is contradictory to what the senator said. According to PNoy in the news article Noynoy Makes Whirlwind Visit to Baguio for a Jollibee Burger, “We had to reduce the money meant for SUCs so we can augment [the budget for] basic education.”

Assuming that PNoy’s claim is true, do we really need to slash the budget for SUCs just to improve the basic education? Anyone recognizes the importance of basic education, but we must not forget that college is also important, especially here in this country where you almost need a degree to be a floor manager A.K.A. janitor.

That’s why we need to improve the basic education. So that like Americans, even a high school graduate can get a job.

That is an appealing idea. But unfortunately the secret to how this idea will work isn’t discovered yet. The now defunct Bridge Program is still remembered by a lot of people especially the students who were very lucky to have one more year to study elementary topics before entering high school, thus graduated late. For some reason, attempts to improve the basic education in the Philippines most of the time don’t go well.

But who wouldn’t want to get a job after finishing high school? No one. The real problem is this: who will hire a high school graduate? I just don’t know in other countries, but a lot of companies here prefer diploma to skill. When you apply for a job, the first thing they will check is your degree. The skill is just secondary.

Add to that the prevailing idea that after a person finishes high school, he must enter college. If he doesn’t go to college, people will automatically wonder “What’s wrong with this guy?”. Then they’ll ask him what his problem is that hinders him to go to college. If he truthfully answers that he just doesn’t want to do so, he’s now labeled as a lazy bastard and a rebel.

No one forgets too that there is a rampant discrimination among jobs here. Almost everyone wants to be “professional”. Sure, we don’t directly discriminate the people with blue-collar jobs. But have you heard anyone say “I want to be a firefighter!”? I have. But the people in the room who heard the kid just laughed at him and one sarcastically commented “You have a very high ambition!”. I just remembered I was that one. The culture ate my brain.

Imagine a world where there is no job discrimination. Perhaps I would have a hard time to decide what my career should be. “Accountant, writer, or laundress?” This is so hard. I’d choose what my heart desires; I’ll be a labandera!”

Preference of degree over skill, being obliged to go to college after high school, job discrimination. These things can’t be solved by merely slashing the budget for SUCs and increasing the fund for basic education. These things are product of our culture that triumphantly ate the brain of most Filipinos for decades. We need a massive shift of thinking here. How it will be done, no one knows yet. The culture doesn’t work; should we still buy it? Should we just let the culture eat our brains?

• Jennylyn Besonia

By Jenn Besonia
Philippine Daily Inquirer

DateFirst Posted 22:05:00 09/18/2010

“BAKIT YUNG isa panget?” our middle-aged neighbor said—yes, middle-aged—while looking at me as if my two sisters and I were just my mother’s dogs she could always judge based on beauty.

That was my earliest memory concerning my physical flaw.

While I was not totally ugly, people just couldn’t help comparing me to my sisters. One is pretty and charming, you will always love to be with her. The other has skin as white as a radish, which makes people think she’s beautiful. If you’re fair-skinned, you’re automatically beautiful; that’s the belief of many Filipinos.

And me? I am dark-skinned, which makes me seem ugly in the eyes of many Filipinos.

I grew up insecure of my skin color. I grew up smiling and trying to ignore the harsh comments of people. They might not be aware of it, because I didn’t show them, but I was really insecure of my color. I hated people. I hated my color.

But then a huge change happened.

I don’t exactly remember when or how it happened, but my color insecurity stopped.

In this life where bigger problems keep coming, there will be a time when you will realize it’s just ridiculous to fret over a simple “physical flaw.” When real problems come, you will find yourself thinking “Why on earth was I so problematic about shallow things?” Lucky are those whose problems are just their “beauty.” It just means they don’t have harder problems to focus on.

Inspired

The tan-skinned gorgeous models/celebrities also helped me to embrace my skin color. They are rare, but that’s what makes them look “exotic.”

And who wouldn’t feel proud to be dark-skinned when the 4th runner up in the Miss Universe contest is a dark-skinned woman, too? It’s a nice thing that the Philippines is now embracing our color. When Venus Raj won, I knew a shift of thinking about skin colors would ensue.

Online, I met blogger Meloy. Like me, she used to be insecure about her skin. She posted a couple of her photos and narrated her “color story.” I was inspired. Here is a woman who’s not white-skinned but gorgeous and proud of herself. Here is a woman who’s not a celebrity but can still rock that “exotic beauty” look. She didn’t edit her photos. She didn’t put any tanning cream on her skin. She’s real!

A fable

One fable also taught me something precious about beauty. According to it, there’s a fox who accidentally cut her tail. At first, she’s sad about it. Then she thought of something. She went to her fox friends and told them, “This is the latest fashion—cut tail. You should cut yours, too! And anyway, tails are of no use to us.”

Another fox answered, “Dear, we are wise enough to know when someone wishes us well or when someone just wants us to have the same flaw like what she has.”

This fable made me think, what if there’s just a vain white-skinned human who told people white skin is equal to beauty and the people just believed in this vanity?

I don’t know who made the rule that white skin is beauty and dark skin is ugliness. All I know is this, sometimes we shouldn’t believe in our culture especially when it’s ridiculous. You don’t need to be tall, white-skinned, have chinita eyes, pointed nose, thin lips, big bust and butt. You just have to be you. For beauty is being you, and you are perfectly you.

© Jennylyn Besonia

In front of me, He is

Faceless. Not even a

He. Much appropriate to call God

It. Not even a

She. It is God and God is

It. Everything is God.

If I would believe to see

God, It is formless. Not even

Solid. Not even liquid. Not even

Gas. Or even plasma.

God that can’t be held, can’t be

Touched. God that can — will not say “only” — be

Felt. For God is

Love. And love is

God.

© Jenn Besonia

11.29.2010

Photo from redribboninyourhair.deviantart.com

If I could just fade away,

Like a music echoing in your ears,

Then will fade away.

Like a painting covering your whole vision,

Then will fade away.

Like a memory using a large part of your brain,

Then will fade away.

Like a distorted music,

Like an ugly painting,

Like a terrifying memory,

I will fade away.

© Jenn Besonia

My unexpected addiction to Queen Seon Deok

by Jenn Besonia 

I WAS EATING LUNCH WHILE WATCHING “Monsters vs Aliens” at home on a boring Wednesday afternoon. My dad told me he wanted to watch “Queen Seon Deok.” A bit irritated, I let him change the DVD.

Queen Seon Deok? Isn’t that the ridiculous historical drama on GMA7? What’s so great about that series? I thought silently. I just couldn’t understand why my level-headed dad wanted to watch it. And I had no choice but to watch it, too.

I was a bit confused with the characters, they all looked the same. But I found myself hooked, given its unpredictable scenes.

On weekends, as soon as I wake up, I would automatically sit before the TV to watch the series. I’d stop only when it’s time to go to bed, usually at 10 p.m., but extended to 1 a.m. It is even harder for me now to stop the habit.

Never mind that my eyes were already as dry as the desert in QSD. Never mind that sometimes I didn’t take a bath anymore.

My friend Betty shares the addiction, taking a pause only to go to the bathroom or to sleep.

My parents wouldn’t allow my TV addiction, but the situation changed, especially when I’m hooked like my father. My father is a man with sound judgment. He doesn’t usually waste time over TV dramas, but he is addicted to it too.

Why?

What got our family and friends hooked?

The setting is thousands of years ago, which probably contributes to its unpredictable plot. We don’t know how the ancient people would think and react to each situation. It is the uncertainty, with interesting history, that keeps you glued.

It is also exciting to watch who will win between the “forever young” antagonist Mishil and the protagonist Deokman. You will even learn more about tactics and politics. I used to wonder how the “evil” person could make any person obey him. I realized they strategize. Like the antagonist, she gives people whatever they want. In return, she wins the trust of the people.

It is also interesting to see the struggle between ignorance and knowledge. Some characters take advantage of other people’s ignorance.

I don’t know about my father, but my sisters, my friend Betty, and I, and other QSD fans (who are even boys!), became so addicted to QSD because of one person: Bidam! He was called the “secret weapon” of QSD. There’s something captivating about his character, he was able to put life into the series. And cheesy it may seem, he won my heart and million others!

Aside from his funny scenes, he was also able to portray innocence, playfulness, romance and can also be evil at times. Kim Nam Gil, who played Bidam in QSD, even won in MBC drama awards 2009 for playing Bidam.

Tragic ending

The sad ending of the series depressed me. The image of Bidam’s bloody face has been on my mind. To erase it, I needed to print Bidam’s photos showing him smirking. I put it in between pages of my Law book. I check it whenever the tragic face of Bidam haunts me.

Yes, after almost one week of being hooked on QSD, I’m done watching the 62 episodes.

But does the addiction stop there? Of course it doesn’t! I will watch it again for the nth time. And hey, I have yet to stalk Kim Nam Gil in Korea.

• Jennylyn Besonia

LET’S FACE IT, NOT EVERY-ONE can afford the expensive tuition fees of private universities. Many Filipinos can’t. Because of this, many graduating high school students are trying to enter public universities.

The Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP), Technological University of the Philippines (TUP), Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila (PLM) and Unibersidad de Manila (UDM) are just among the universities in Manila that won’t make you shell out money beyond P2,000 a semester.

Universities subsidized by the government are quite few, and not that many students pass the entrance exams of such universities, which accept only a fixed number of students.

What should you do if you’re one of the unlucky ones who don’t make it to the public university of your choice?

Try other schools. Some public universities are still open for application. They might not be your dream school, but remember—the quality of education depends not only on the school, but on the student as well. If you’re really eager to learn, whatever university you’re enrolled in, you will learn.

Be a working student. If the only choice left is to enroll in a private school, why not be a working student to help offset the cost? Now is the time to use your skills and talents. Are you creative? Make scrapbooks and sell them. With Multiply and Facebook, everyone can now be an entrepreneur. Do you type fast? Be an encoder. Do you love writing? Be a freelance writer. Forget the shyness. There are a million ways to earn money.

Hunt for scholarships. Don’t forget to ask your friends and teachers to tip you off on available scholarships. Some scholarships require you to get high grades. Others will ask you to be a librarian or a helper in your school. Others need your attendance in an organization.

Bide your time. Most Filipinos don’t like to stop schooling because of our culture that says one must enroll in a university right after high school. They think being out of school for a bit is embarrassing.

But look at it this way. One enrolls in another school only as a halfway measure; he aims to move to his dream university the next year—but still as a freshman. Isn’t that stopping for only a year? Maybe he learned something in his former school, but he also paid for it. He’ll also have to take the same subjects again in his new school.

Why not stop for a year, and do self-study? Read grammar books, train yourself answering algebra, geometry and trigonometry problems, read history, do advanced reading on your preferred course. After a year, you can re-take the entrance exam in your chosen public university.

• Jennylyn Besonia

Image from Deviantart

You told me to stop dreaming,
So I did stop believing.
“This is reality,” you would say.
Do dreams have no room in reality?

I kissed my dreams goodbye,
And said hi to the so-called real life.
It’s good, it’s fine,
Or so I thought.
It’s bitter, it’s sweet.
That’s just the way it is.

The reality doesn’t look real.
This reality, I can’t feel.
Which is true? Which is not?
The reality can’t say.

When everything seems so unreal,
And everyone seems to be a character in a plotted scene,
I can only trust my very own dreams.
It never betrays me.

My dreams is the only truth in reality,
Believe.
This reality is just part of my dream.
Dream’s the only thing I trust.
Dream’s the only thing that won’t leave me aghast.
It never betrays me.

©Jenn Besonia
10.16.2010

What is his voice?
Is he a tenor or a bass?
Is it beautiful?
Is it husky?
Does it seem to be from
the beautiful underground?
How old does he sound like?
What is his voice?

Little details no one pays attention to
Simply because it’s normal
What can they do?
To examine the voice,
To listen to the noise,
Little details; Pay attention now.
That will do.